PILARES DE LA BUENA EDUCACIÓN

A menudo les digo a los padres y madres, los pilares básicos de la educación, desde mi punto de vista, son cuatro: amor, respeto, atención y límites afectivos.

Intento que los padres y madres visualicen estos cuatro pilares como las patas de una mesa, y que detecten, qué pata es, en la que se sienten que deberían realizar una reflexión o ampliar su consciencia.

El amor incondicional:

Se basa en la idea de demostrar nuestro amor por nuestros hijos, aunque hagan cosas que no nos gusten, o no se ajusten a lo que esperamos de ellos.

El amor debería de estar presente en todo acto de educación.

Es importante que los niños se sientan queridos cuando hacen las cosas bien, pero también cuando las hacen mal.

De este modo podrán sentir que pueden contar siempre con nosotros, tanto para lo malo como para lo bueno; y como resultado confiarán en nosotros. 

El respeto:

El amor ha de estar compaginado con respeto.

El respeto impide que se abuse del amor para poseer, controlar y manipular.

La aceptación de los límites por parte de los niños también va a depender de nuestro nivel de respeto.

Deberíamos revisar si estamos faltando el respeto a los niños o se lo hemos faltado, ya que los niños harán lo mismo que hacemos nosotros con ellos.

Si les gritamos (“¡ven ahora mismo aquí!”), les pegamos, les insultamos (porque haces eso, ¿eres tonto/a?), humillamos (cuando les imitamos “¡ña, ña, ña, ña! Hablas como un bebé”; cuando pretendemos que hagan algo (¡venga, es que no sabes hacerlo!) etc. Seguro que este tipo de faltas de respeto no las tendríamos con otras personas  de nuestro entorno: familiares o amigos.

E incluso podríamos ir más allá, cuando les escuchamos (“no me gusta ese cole, la profesora es una bruja” “he perdido mi juguete” y estallan en llanto) pero no damos importancia a sus cosas porque siempre son menos importantes que las de los adultos. También cuando les obligamos a comer (¡claro, como los adultos siempre tenemos mucha hambre y no lo comemos todo!) obedecer al momento exacto en que les pedimos algo, a vestirse como nosotros queremos, a no molestar o estar callados (durante todo el tiempo de una visita, comida, etc.).

Respetamos al  niño cuando no invadimos su percepción, no lo movemos físicamente de aquí para allá, no lo manipulamos como un objeto, no estamos a medias con ellos y otras cosas, no intentamos convencerle, interrogarle, interrumpirle, prevenirle, ni solucionamos los problemas típicos de su etapa de desarrollo.

Señales de transgresión del respeto:tristeza, agresividad, desmotivación, niños/as que dependen de otros, miedosos/as, hiperactivos/as, tensos/as, sabelotodo, etc.

La atención:

Si no atendemos a los niños y niñas no puede haber límites con respeto.

Atender a los niños es:

  • acompañarles en su juego
  • cubrir sus necesidades
  • escuchar sus frustraciones y su llanto
  • escuchar sus emociones y sentimientos
  • ponernos en su lugar, intuyendo lo que piensan y sienten y actuar con comprensión y sensibilidad

Las llamadas de atención manifiestan una falta de atención del adulto hacia el niño/a.

Los límites afectivos

Se refieren a aplicar la autoridad en igualdad de condiciones.

Para entender este concepto es importante revisar lo que sería la “autoridad en desigualdad de condiciones ” (desde arriba hacia abajo, del  padre o madre al niño) se basa en el convencimiento de que “yo no me equivoco y el niño si”; este tipo de autoridad censura la acción negativa del niño con un castigo.

La autoridad en igualdad de condiciones nos ayuda a empatizar con los niños, extrayendo de la conducta negativa de éste, lo positivo que hay en ella y orientándole en cómo mejorar su forma de hacer.

 

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